❆ | 041 | Video

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[When the video comes on, it's not focused on her face. Instead, the picture shows snow, snow everywhere, and in the distance there is blurry movement, a direwolf running through the banks. From the angle, she's up high, sitting in a tree.]

Last year, when this happened, I spoke to my lady mother. And my lord father. Just for a moment. [She pauses, swallows hard and continues.] There was my brother, and my sister too.

[She's claiming them, making them hers again. She has been, she's taken back her name, but never like this. Never where anyone can hear.]

I spoke to a Dothraki Khal, the last time this happened. I've spoken to a lot of people I've never met. [And more Lannisters than she ever wanted to. When she turns the camera around to her face, she's chewing on her lip. Her hair has grown plenty since she arrived, bald-headed. It's past her chin now, brushing just above her shoulders. She looks like a girl again, though maybe that's because she grew when she last was home. She's only twelve or thirteen, physically, but she feels so much older than that. She's been here for years. Years and years, away from everything she knows. She stops chewing her lip.]

I'm Arya, of Winterfell. Arya of House Stark.

[There. It feels like a weight off her shoulders. She's said it before, she's meant it before. But every time this glitch has happened, Jaime Lannister has come to remind her of her name. Now she can remind him.

She even smiles, a little, at the corners of her mouth.]

I had other names too, for a while. When I had to hide to be safe. Arry, and Weasel, and Nan. Salty and Nymeria and Cat and Beth and Mercy, even. I don't know if anyone who knew those girls will hear me. But I miss some of you, and if you want to talk, then so do I. That goes for anyone. I like meeting new people.

Comments

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

He disappeared a while ago. [She chews on her lip for a moment, then shrugs a little.]

I can't turn into a wolf anymore.

[yeahscience]

What? Why? Because he left?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Because I left. I came [she almost says home, but that's not really right.] back with a new name.

[yeahscience]

Again? [Because the last time that happened, it was pretty bad.]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[P r e t t y bad. She has the decency to grimace a little.]

I didn't forget as much as last time. I was Mercy. Mercy, Mercy, Mercy. [She sings Mercy's little song, and shrugs. She liked being Mercy. It wasn't like being herself, but it was, too. And it reminded her of Sansa, some days. But only some.]

It's okay. I can still ride inside Nymeria.

[yeahscience]

[There's something a little lonely about realizing that he's the last, the lone, functioning member of the pack now. Of course, it's not like that hasn't been effectively true for the last two years, but -- there had always been a part of him that had held onto that faraway idea: that someday they could all be in the same place, whole and together.

He smiles a little sadly, but then he leans in and lowers his voice, conspiring.]

Hey, so, you know, we don't got that big house yet like I showed you, but if you thought maybe you might wanna swing by here when you're done...

[And, unbelievably, that seems like much less of a pipe dream than it was the last time he made her this offer. He can't believe how much better she looks, in a way that has nothing to do with her age or her hair or her face or her clothes.]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Maybe it won't be the same, but in Arya's mind, he's still her pack. The lone wolf can survive, but its happier with its family. Arya thinks she understands that, now.

She leans in automatically when he does, excited at the prospect of conspiracy again. And when he offers, instead of hesitating or shying away, a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.]

Who else is going to teach Michael how to curse right?

[She won't stay, she knows that; she has to find Jon. But Jesse - Jesse became her family a long time ago. And she misses her family.]

[yeahscience]

[He lets out a laugh, a big one, full and delighted, as she must have known he'd be.]

Just don't let Lua hear you say that, yo, all right? She'd totally kick my ass. It's bad enough that she's gotta leave us here unsupervised every so often.

[It is, of course, a joke, but only mostly; he might be more mature now (and, to be honest, the most overprotective dad on the block), but that doesn't mean he doesn't still have a pile of cartoons or a stack of video games with her name on it. Speaking of...]

I'll figure out the space thing. You can sleep in Mikey's room, probably. [He hesitates.] ...Arya's room.

[Not Cat's. Not if she doesn't want to be anymore. He's been stubborn about the name thing for years now -- he met her as Cat, grew to love her as Cat, and that's how she's stayed all this time. If she's finally ready to be Arya for real, though, he can't take that away from her.]

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[Her smile grows until it hurts. He's always called her Cat, and that was fine, when she didn't want to be Arya. It was annoying when she wanted to be someone else, but there was no stopping him. And now - to hear him use her real name, the one she was born with - she's not sure exactly what it is she's feeling, but she likes hearing it.]

I can sleep anywhere. [She's been sleeping on thin, scratchy pallets and the ground for so long that she wouldn't know what to do with a real bed.]

And - you can still call me Cat. If you want. Just you. [Hearing him call her Arya is enough, even if it's just once. But he's the only one she'll give a different name to.]

[yeahscience]

It's cool. Wouldn't want to confuse the little dude.

[Besides... there's a part of him that will miss the girl that introduced herself to him as Cat, but the one smiling at him now, she's not the same. It's like the morning -- not after his own graduation, but soon after he left the Barge that last time, when he was really ready -- he woke up thinking about something he and Walt had done. Not Mr. White, not Heisenberg, just... Walt.

He'll miss her, but he understands. Things are different now. They always are. He couldn't be happier about it.]

I'll see you soon, maybe?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[She hesitates just for a fraction - not because she thinks it's not true, not because she thinks she won't see him, soon or otherwise, but because it feels almost too true. Too likely. It's frightening.]

Yes. Soon. [Her heart beats in her throat, but the smile stays. She'll meet Michael soon, and she'll see Lua, and she'll throw herself at Jesse. And it will be soon.]

[yeahscience]

[He wants to stay, to say more, but now he really does get the feeling they don't have much time left. Soon, he tells himself. Soon. He'll get a bed set up, get some extra supplies for Nymeria together, air out the Stark cloak hiding at the back of his closet. He'll be ready for her.]

See you later, Arya.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

I miss you.

[It blurts out almost before she thinks about it. But he's going, she can feel it too. And he knows, she knows he does, but she has to say it, too.]

I'll see you soon.