❈ | 031 | Video

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[With all these people graduating lately and all her wardens gone off, Arya has been doing a lot of thinking. She's wormed her way into the CES - she always seems to find a way - and is sitting against Nymeria, using the direwolf as a pillow. She's wearing a modern looking zipper hoodie over her usual threadbare attire; the zipper is open, but the hood is up, and on its top are two fuzzy, gray wolf ears. There's dirt on her face when she clicks the feed on, in a swoop from her cheek to her jaw; on the other side she's managed to accumulate a couple scratches. She doesn't seem to notice either.]

There's no one left from Westeros, besides me. Tyrion's gone. Viserys used to be here; I don't think there are a lot who remember him. Jon Snow was here, too. But he left.

[They all left is what she doesn't say out loud. She scratches at her jaw, somehow missing the dirt.]

I've been here a long time, though. I checked - it's two years, now. [She doesn't pause; she's already let that sink in.] Your worlds are all different from mine. You treat people like babies till they're old; you call them kids until they're eighteen, twenty. In Westeros, and Essos, and all over in my world - a girl is grown when she's flowered. [She makes a face, because it's a dumb euphemism, but it's ingrained.] My brother was a king when he was fifteen. He wasn't a boy, he had a beard and led men and killed his enemies. [And he died.

She pauses for a moment, looking up as a shadow passes over her, presumably a cloud.]

When I was littler, I wanted to know if I could build castles, or be a High Septon, or be a councilor to a king. He said I could marry a king, and my sons could be Septons and builders and knights and lords. Well I'm not getting married, and I'm not having sons, not ever.

Is that what it's like in your worlds, too? I don't mean, do they say no and you do it anyway, that's not any different. Are girls allowed to be rulers and builders and fighters where you all are from?

Comments

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

I'm not growing, Chris.

[mistconduct]

...

Like, literally? Or metaphorically?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

I'm not growing up. I don't know how old I am, but I still know what I want after two years spent here. I know what I want, and I'm going to find a way to get it, even if I have to spend ten years here only being nearly grown.

[mistconduct]

And you don't think for one second that the only reason you're stuck here after two years is because what you want is fucked up.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

It's not fucked up, it's justice, and I'm not going to ever say that they don't deserve it!

[mistconduct]

Oh my god, not what I'm saying. I'm saying that even if these pricks deserve everything that's coming to them, I would way rather have my dead relatives back than worry about dishing out justice to the fucks who killed him.

You have a serious hard-on for revenge. I mean, me too, but christ, Arya, if your revenge-focusing is what's keeping you from getting revenge, that is one fucked-up cycle.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

The Admiral is fucked up.

[mistconduct]

You see me arguing that?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Then the whole thing is fucked up and it doesn't matter.

[mistconduct]

Arya, I want to go home. I want you and Lark to go home, get what you want, and then live the rest of your lives however the fuck you want. If that means navigating through a fucked-up situation until you get what you want, I want to stick by here until I know things are going to be all right with the pack.

It does matter. It matters more than anything.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Then maybe you should tell him not to keep giving me wardens who leave.

[mistconduct]

Yeah. That's fucked up.

I mean, no matter who you get, I'm not leaving until you and Lark graduate. I'll go back to check up on my world for a few days but I'm staying.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

[She doesn't want to fight with him again, so she doesn't say maybe, just pinches her mouth and turns to scratch behind Nymeria's ear.]

It'll be a long time. [Sometimes she wonders if she'll be here forever.]

[mistconduct]

It's cool. I like it here more than Earth.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

This isn't a home.

[mistconduct]

Then why is my family here?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

It's not a proper home.

[mistconduct]

What's a proper home?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

One where you're not worried about dying all the time. [Duh, Chris.]

[mistconduct]

I don't know, I'm pretty fucking concerned about going back to Earth right now.

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Maybe that's a bad home, too.

...I guess Braavos isn't much better.

[mistconduct]

What's over in Braavos that sucks so hard?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

Sailors and whores and rapers and thieves and killers.

The same as anywhere. But Braavos has bravos, and they look funny but they'll fight over anything.

[mistconduct]

Jesus, you're starting to sound like Rorschach.

The fuck are bravos?

[fearcutsdeeperthanswords]

He sounds like me.

They're swordsmen. They like to challenge each other on the streets.